Things to come...

It's hard to look on the lighter side of life some days. New to this whole work-a-day world. Looking at an economy that is going all topsy turvy and spiralling out of control. People fearing about their futures, about their mortgages, and about where their next meal will come from...

So I decided to quit my job and head out east!

That's right. I'm going to China. Saturday November 1st 2008 I'll take off for Yantai in search of funny and peculiar things those dudes do that I can make fun of for your enjoyment. That's right, my racial/cultural ignorance is going international.

Look to have your minds blown this winter as Code Seven goes Asian.

P.S. We will not be spiking our hair all crazy. We're not going that Asian.

In the middle of the night...

I was watching Animal Planet and they had a show on Jaguars. Which is pretty cool. Did you know that they are the third largest cat in the cat family? Did you know that they have super strong jaws and typically crush the skulls of their prey?
Yeah! It's true. Jaguars are pretty bad ass.
Did you also know that they have those long whiskers to help them sense how close their surroundings are when it's real dark? The guy on the show went on and on forever about how many fancy features they have to help them hunt in the dark.
Here's a thought. Wake up earlier ya lazy Jaguars!
Laying around all day. Come on!
You don't see a Shark just laying around not moving, because it would die. So, be fierce ya lazy jags take a page out of the sharks book, kill you some daylight animals too.

A message to the Ladies!

Hey gals.

Hate it when a guy approaches you in a bar or something and asks to buy you a drink or for a dance and you're just not interested?

Yeah?

Well I'll bet you hate that "mean" feeling of turning him down because he's ugly and you think you're better than him?

If you answered yes to these questions I've got some great advice for you.

When in that awkward situation just say, "Thank you, that is so sweet. But I'm a giant lesbian. I love vaginas just like you."

The guy will completely understand and not feel rejected. Plus, he may not get you for the evening, but he gets the mental image of you ears deep in someones taco.

It's really win win. Just do your part gals.

Religion: Offensive to Jesus?

A lot of religious people wear crosses around their necks.

Now if I were Jesus and I came back. I think that whole "cross incident" is something I wouldn't want to be reminded of...

Just tossing that out there.

Another Death. Evan Tanner.

This story is taken directly from cagepotato.com

Former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner has been found dead in the Palo Verde mountain area of the southern California desert. The news was confirmed with Tanner’s manager, John Hayner, who said he learned just an hour ago that the body found was indeed Tanner. He was thirty-seven years old.

“He was in a real positive state of mind, he wasn’t having any drinking problems or any of those types of problems. He was really feeling good about his life,” Hayner told CagePotato.com.

Hayner said that Tanner had gone into the desert on a motorcycle expedition and had run out of gas. Tanner was attempting to walk out of the desert, Hayner said, but apparently didn’t realize how far away from civilization he was and died of exposure in the triple-digit heat. Tanner’s empty campsite was spotted Sunday, and an aerial search located his body earlier this afternoon.

A post written by Tanner on his Spike TV blog told of his planning for the trip, and emphasized his desire to bring only essentials in his escape to the solitude of the desert:

I’ve been gathering my gear for this adventure for over a month, not a long time by most standards, but far too long for my impatient nature. Being a minimalist by nature, wanting to carry only the essentials, and being extremely particular, it has been a little difficult to find just the right equipment. I plan on going so deep into the desert, that any failure of my equipment, could cost me my life. I’ve been doing a great deal of research and study. I want to know all I can about where I’m going, and I want to make sure I have the best equipment.

Hayner told of a man who “marched to a beat only he could hear,” but maintained a positive outlook on life.

“Here was a famous UFC fighter who didn’t have enough food to eat at times. I’d call him just to make sure he had food in his fridge, but he never let it get him down. Starting over was kind of a theme in his life. He hardly ever lived in the same place more than six months,” Hayner said. “He moved out to Vegas and then found it too shallow for him, so he moved out to Oceanside and had a great place, he was learning to surf, and he was really enjoying his day-to-day life.”

News Talk Radio

I was listening to Mr. John Gormley on News Talk 650 the other day, and something struck me as odd. It wasn't in anything he said, but in the commercials.
The first was for a local funeral home. They are celebrating their 5th anniversary. Good for you, 5 years in the death biz! But they went on to thank people for their support... Hmmm, Hey Mr. Johnson thanks for ignoring your doctors advice and having that heart attack?
The next was an ad for a hearing clinic. Cool, people need to hear. But a radio ad? Are you sure you're going to get across to your target audience?
Finally there was some pro-life ad. A whole riteous don't kill your fetus ad. I have no funny angle on this one. That's just offensive. Thanks news talk radio saskatchewan, make those tough choices for the confused youth of today!!

My friend Nokia, I knew him well

I think my cell phone is depressed.
Every time I get down to one bar it starts acting funny, exhibiting strange behavior. It begins to beep and flash. Doing all that it can to kill it's battery, and in essence, end it's life. My cell phone tries with all its might to die.
I can't really say I blame it. These days we are asking too much of this handy little device. It's not good enough to just be a phone any more. Back in the day all the phone had to do was hang out on the wall and keep a family in the loop. Now we need photos, task managers and music with our phones. It's just too much to ask of any device!

People are useless.

I can't imagine how our species ever made it through anything. It's hard for me to even believe we've survived this long. What I mean is, when the fuck did everyone start relying on someone else for everything? It's like nobody does anything for themselves anymore. Our race has turned into a bunch of scared little weaklings who can't do anything for themselves. Why is it so hard for people to learn things on their own? Why is almost everyone always looking for an easy way out in every situation in life? Don't people know that it's life experiences that make individuals who they are? It makes me sick to be around so many people that would rather have everything done for them or explained to them ad nauseum when all it would take is a little time and hard work. I wish I had some sort of conclusion to this rant but I don't, people are useless.

Here's a couple of quotes from Mark Rippetoe:

"The interesting thing is that everybody really already knows this, because there are few examples in life that don’t follow the basic rules of the universe, the ones that dictate the behavior of everything. One of the most basic of those rules is that, with the exception of the occasional lottery winner, you pretty much get out of an effort what you put into it. We’re all quite familiar with this reality, although we are often willing to believe people who tell us otherwise, about exercise and about life. The sooner everybody—both halves of the population—accepts the fact that effective exercise is more like training for athletics and less like lying around on the floor, more about performance and less about appearance, the sooner it will be understood that women really don’t need their own figure salon."

"…we have not spent the last 65 million or so years finely honing our physiology to watch Oprah. Like it or not, we are the product of a very long process of adaptation to a harsh physical existence, and the past couple centuries of comparative ease and plenty are not enough time to change our genome. We humans are at our best when our existence mirrors, or at least simulates, the one we are still genetically adapted to live. And that is the purpose of exercise."

And a Rip Anecdote:

"My favorite happens to be the tale on supplementary equipment. A man insisted on wearing straps for exercises he probably could have gotten away without having worn them. Rip, in classic Rip fashion, decided to start wearing straps to do all sorts of things, including opening doors and going to the bathroom (he would wear one on his "holding" hand, gotta have wrist support for that) until the guy stopped wearing straps completely."

Male Pattern Baldness

Do black guys ever resort to wearing a toupe?

Do they even make non novelty black dude wigs? I mean I've got the afro and the dreads in the rasta hat, but what about a sensible do?

BERNIE MAC R.I.P.

One of the funniest sumumabitches to ever live. Code 7 pays tribute to Bernie Mac.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.