Thursday, September 25, 2008

A message to the Ladies!

Hey gals.

Hate it when a guy approaches you in a bar or something and asks to buy you a drink or for a dance and you're just not interested?


Well I'll bet you hate that "mean" feeling of turning him down because he's ugly and you think you're better than him?

If you answered yes to these questions I've got some great advice for you.

When in that awkward situation just say, "Thank you, that is so sweet. But I'm a giant lesbian. I love vaginas just like you."

The guy will completely understand and not feel rejected. Plus, he may not get you for the evening, but he gets the mental image of you ears deep in someones taco.

It's really win win. Just do your part gals.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Religion: Offensive to Jesus?

A lot of religious people wear crosses around their necks.

Now if I were Jesus and I came back. I think that whole "cross incident" is something I wouldn't want to be reminded of...

Just tossing that out there.

Another Death. Evan Tanner.

This story is taken directly from

Former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner has been found dead in the Palo Verde mountain area of the southern California desert. The news was confirmed with Tanner’s manager, John Hayner, who said he learned just an hour ago that the body found was indeed Tanner. He was thirty-seven years old.

“He was in a real positive state of mind, he wasn’t having any drinking problems or any of those types of problems. He was really feeling good about his life,” Hayner told

Hayner said that Tanner had gone into the desert on a motorcycle expedition and had run out of gas. Tanner was attempting to walk out of the desert, Hayner said, but apparently didn’t realize how far away from civilization he was and died of exposure in the triple-digit heat. Tanner’s empty campsite was spotted Sunday, and an aerial search located his body earlier this afternoon.

A post written by Tanner on his Spike TV blog told of his planning for the trip, and emphasized his desire to bring only essentials in his escape to the solitude of the desert:

I’ve been gathering my gear for this adventure for over a month, not a long time by most standards, but far too long for my impatient nature. Being a minimalist by nature, wanting to carry only the essentials, and being extremely particular, it has been a little difficult to find just the right equipment. I plan on going so deep into the desert, that any failure of my equipment, could cost me my life. I’ve been doing a great deal of research and study. I want to know all I can about where I’m going, and I want to make sure I have the best equipment.

Hayner told of a man who “marched to a beat only he could hear,” but maintained a positive outlook on life.

“Here was a famous UFC fighter who didn’t have enough food to eat at times. I’d call him just to make sure he had food in his fridge, but he never let it get him down. Starting over was kind of a theme in his life. He hardly ever lived in the same place more than six months,” Hayner said. “He moved out to Vegas and then found it too shallow for him, so he moved out to Oceanside and had a great place, he was learning to surf, and he was really enjoying his day-to-day life.”

Thursday, September 4, 2008

News Talk Radio

I was listening to Mr. John Gormley on News Talk 650 the other day, and something struck me as odd. It wasn't in anything he said, but in the commercials.
The first was for a local funeral home. They are celebrating their 5th anniversary. Good for you, 5 years in the death biz! But they went on to thank people for their support... Hmmm, Hey Mr. Johnson thanks for ignoring your doctors advice and having that heart attack?
The next was an ad for a hearing clinic. Cool, people need to hear. But a radio ad? Are you sure you're going to get across to your target audience?
Finally there was some pro-life ad. A whole riteous don't kill your fetus ad. I have no funny angle on this one. That's just offensive. Thanks news talk radio saskatchewan, make those tough choices for the confused youth of today!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My friend Nokia, I knew him well

I think my cell phone is depressed.
Every time I get down to one bar it starts acting funny, exhibiting strange behavior. It begins to beep and flash. Doing all that it can to kill it's battery, and in essence, end it's life. My cell phone tries with all its might to die.
I can't really say I blame it. These days we are asking too much of this handy little device. It's not good enough to just be a phone any more. Back in the day all the phone had to do was hang out on the wall and keep a family in the loop. Now we need photos, task managers and music with our phones. It's just too much to ask of any device!