Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Fuck you Japan

This isn't comedy. Why the fuck does there exist a zoo that would take defenseless animals and scare the living shit out of them for fun. Humans are far more evil and dangerous than any animal that ever lived. This just makes me sick.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Trailers

It's Friday. Here's some trailers for upcoming movies to help get you through the day.

Funny People


Big Fan


Book of Blood


Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Half Week Hardcore

This week is all about stuff that just came out. Death by Stereo's "Death Is My Only Friend". I imagine I'll really like this album, there are a few songs that aren't grabbing me just yet and I could have done without the "Forever And A Day" re-do. Once I get into it I'm sure I'll love it. Second is Poison the Well's "Tropic Rot". I haven't picked this one up yet, I might today, but by the sound of "Cinema" I'll really enjoy it.

Death By Stereo - Welcome to the Party


Poison The Well - Cinema

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Money-Happiness Coefficient.

At present I am unemployed. It is summer here in Saskatoon (Canada) and all I've got is time. What I don't have is money.
Now, on the outside this seems like it shouldn't be a big deal. A nice relaxing time with no work obligations or stresses. But it sucks. It's not that much fun. I'm broke. I can't do shit. Shit costs money and shit is fun.
People say that money can't buy you happiness. That's because it doesn't have to. If I had a shit-ton of money I wouldn't need to buy a damn thing to be happy. I'd be too busy poppin' boners over the fact that if I DID want to buy something, I COULD.
So in a way, money cannot buy you happiness, true. But in another more important and truthful way Money = Happiness.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Half Week Hardcore

Deathwish is quickly becoming my favorite label. I love the fact that you can preview pretty much all of their releases on the website before you buy. I spend hours listening to samples over and over and exploring new bands. Here are a few that I've gotten really into lately.

Narrows - Gypsy Kids


Narrows - Chambered


Lewd Acts - Play Me Something That I Know


The Carrier - Wasted

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dog Pull Skateboarding

When you have a dog that is really strong and has a lot of energy you have to come up with ways of tiring it out so that they don't start destroying things every chance they get. My dog Cash is exactly that type of dog. The best methods of tiring him out so far have been: chasing a laser pointer (every dog owner should have a laser pointer), using a horse whip with a ball on the end (also known as a "flirt pole") and getting him together with another dog. While those are all excellent activities, they don't allow any real companionship between dog and owner. My good friend Evan recently built up a skateboard with some risers and big soft wheels for his dog to pull him around on and has been enjoying his dog pulling him around for the last couple weeks. I had Cash pull me before on my skateboard, but the speed he can run and my small hard wheels don't mix. This weekend I decided to go out and get a wider deck, some risers and some softer wheels and set up a deck specifically to have Cash pull me around, combining excellent exercise for him and my love of skateboarding.

Here we go.

I almost lost it on the speed wobbles.

Jason Adams "Miller High Life" Enjoi deck, Bones "filming" wheels and Independent Trucks.

Happy dog.

Trevor testing out the ride.

Tired dog.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Welcome to Saskatoon


Saskatoon. It's not a bad place to live. Cost of living is pretty good. It's big enough that there are interesting things to do and small enough that it only takes a maximum of about a half hour to get there. Lions skatepark is one of the better parks in western Canada. Yeah it has ridiculously cold winters, but the generally long and hot summers usually make up for it. The economy here is on a steady boom while the rest of the world is struggling. Oh and the music scene is really starting to take a turn for the better.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because apparently Saskatoon is not only the murder capital of Canada but is also considered the 9th most dangerous city on the planet. Of course these are based on statistics because honestly, are you in more danger living in Saskatoon or Detroit? Don't tell anyone though, a little bit of assumed toughness never hurt anyone.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Classic Skate Video Parts: Fulfill the Dream - Chad Muska

This video killed it when it came out, I watched it a lot and was always impressed by how young most of the team was. But there's no way anyone could ever dispute Muska being the star of this video. This shit came out and EVERY kid had the white/red Muska board and the Muska track pants. The best product I think he had out at the time were his shoes, Trevor used to claim that they were the reason he learned to kickflip. Now, years later, his Supra Skytops are one of the most hyped and sought after shoe in skateboarding. Watching this part right now just makes me want to go skateboarding. Maybe I will this weekend.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Half Week Hardcore

Only one this week.
H2O - Nothing To Prove

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Best Store/Office Ever??


I'd say so. Designed by studiometrico in Milan, the Bastard store and Comvert HQ combines intricately detailed modern design with a very well designed skate bowl. It's my dream to be able to work in a space like this everyday, being an architectural tech and a brand owner. It's always exciting to see a building apapdted from it's original use and designed perfectly for a new completely different use of space. In this case, from a theatre to a clothing store.

Skate bowl.

Store area.


Click the link below to check out some more pictures including some shots if the construction of the bowl.

Source: ARPLUS.COM

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Half Week Hardcore

This week we look at a few bands that put out some of the best hardcore I've ever heard and have since drifted from their roots or are no longer making music.

AFI - Coin Return


Poison The Well - Nerdy


The Nerve Agents - Evil


More metal than hardcore, but they were an awesome band anyways.
Burn In Silence - Lines From An Epitaph

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Nike SB: Debacle

Looks awesome.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Monday Moron(s)

Only one for today...but you sill see why.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Brad Pitt: Top 5 things Mike Carroll Says When He's Drunk


Crailtap caught a video of Brad Pitt running down the top 5 things Mike Carroll says when he's drunk. I think after this he'll be able to add "Brad Pitt knows my name! Seriously!"

Check it out here.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

Just about missed it this week. Here's a quick one.

Gorilla Biscuits - Sitting Around At Home.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Truth About Swine Flu

Media controlled hype. As fashion goes through popular cycles I guess fear mongering does the same.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Racism IS funny


I've been in China for a while now. It has been equally exciting and soul crushing.

To make money I've taken a job teaching english as a second language. The students are Chinese and about 12 years old. I truly and whole heartedly hate kids. But, the other day I was delighted. Two of my students were tormenting one other student. I didn't know what was going on, but the one weiner kid was weeping. Because I wanted to seem like I cared I asked the two "mean" kids to cut it out. Then I asked them what they were doing.

They told me they were just being funny. They were teasing the third kid because, "he looks Japanese". Yup. 

Friday, April 24, 2009

Misery Signals

I just started to love this band again.


Monday, April 20, 2009

Congratulations Mayhem!

We won't talk about the UFC that happened this weekend. There's already too many people talking about that one. Instead, we'd like to congratulate Jason "Mayhem" Miller for choking out Kala "Kolohe" Hose and winning the Kingdom MMA Middleweight title. Easily our favorite mixed martial artist, and Triumph United spokesperson, Mayhem proves how much fucking ass he kicks by pounding on Kolohe "rape choke" style until he rolls over and secures the RNC. It also looks like Mayhem is in line to face Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza in a rematch for Dream's Middleweight Title. Check out the video below.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The great equalizer.


There is one thing irresistable to all people. Young and old, rich and poor, stupid and not stupid. Animal Fights! The only thing more compelling than blood lust is adorability. So when you see a kitten take on a turn table, or a squirrel and a couple of birds fight over a nut. You can be the hardest mofo on the planet, but it'll get ya... it'll get ya.

I found http://www.maniacworld.com/Animal_Fights.htm by accident and I haven't been able to get shit done since. Beware it eats up all of your time. The cuteness in that page destroys lives.

The 36th chamber meets the 36th floor.





Found this on the VLNY BRAND blog.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hey Christians!


I've got a bone to pick with you.

You got to stop saying "Welcome to the world" when you see babies. Facebook updates or comments like, "the world welcomes baby who gives a shit" and "welcome to the world baby Dingus" are driving me nuts. 

So what you're telling me is that they aren't really a part of the world before they fall out of a vagina? They don't really exist? They don't matter?

Cool! I'm fine with that.

Now why do you get all up in arms when people give babies the ol'hook n'flush before they have a chance to come into the world and exist? 

You don't want to come across as hypocritical do you? That'd be a first.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Half Week Hardcore

This week is all about anger.

Terror - Spit My Rage


Most Precious Blood - Shark Ethic


Death By Stereo - Don't Piss On My Neck And Tell Me it's Raining

How to change your facebook privacy settings

Have you ever wondered how to change your facebook privacy settings so you don't get creepers creepin' on all your shit? Well wonder no more because our good friend DJ Dirty Bird has created this instructional video on how to block those facebook creepers for good.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Classic Skate Video Parts: Stevie Williams - Chocolate Tour

This video isn't as old as some of the others I posted but it was probably one of the most influential to me. It came out right when I was starting to get better than average at skateboarding and watching this video always made me want to go out and get better and better. Stevie Williams' part was especially influential to me, he had such a solid style in his tricks that just always made me think that any trick he did looked better than anyone else doing it. Stevie has gone on to do big things in skateboarding with his own companies and we hope his success continues.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dawg Fight

Below is a trailer for a documentary about backyard fighters called Dawg Fight. Let me first say that normally backyard fighting is basically retarded. I'm not saying that these guys aren't retarded, but I have to admire the way they look at fighting and that they're willing to at least somewhat have some pride in it. Also, if they're letting guys settle arguments without the use of weapons in a fair fight, I'd support that. My two cents: Wear some 5oz gloves, that's all.

Dawg Fight from rakontur on Vimeo.

Half Week Hardcore

We're doin' 90's this week!

Agnostic Front - Gotta Go


Another Joe - Special Blend


Bouncing Souls - East Side Mags


Integrity - Vocal Test

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

Hair brained world domination scheme no.138


I am in China, a land where people cannot grow facial hair at all.
I can grow a mean puberty stache and that's about all. The Chinese seem to really love gross facial hair. I believe I can be a king, or a god around here, if I try.

I will begin my quest and I'll start posting pictures of my disgusting progress.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where The Wild Things Are - Trailer

Girl/Jeans

Dating a girl with no ass is like wearing a pair of jeans with no pockets. There is no place to put your hands.





Also, she's likely ugly

Half Week Hardcore

First of all this week we'll pay tribute to Mastodon's newest album, Crack They Skye, that released yesterday. It's not hardcore but it fucking rips.


Since I've been doing a bit of writing about Canadian Hip Hop, here' some Canadian Hardcore for you.
Cancerbats - Deathsmarch


Comeback Kid - Wake The Dead


SNFU - Don't Have The Cow


Dayglo Abortions - Proud To Be A Canadian

Woe is me

They say everyone is good at something. I have been on the planet going on 27 years and I have been an utter failure at everything I've ever attempted. Now to make matters worse I can't even sleep very well.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Canadian Hip-Hop History: Part 2

The next song I can really remember from my very early days of watching Muchmusic is Dream Warriors' - My Definition of a Boombastic Jazz Style. This was never one of my favorites, but it was one of the first, so it gets a mention. Check the video here.

The next phase of my devoted hip hop listening was heavily influenced by Reggae and for a long time the only thing I wanted was to visit Jamaica, I was obsessed with the country for a few years.
Snow, when I was 10/11 years old that word meant a lot more to me than just the shitty white stuff that covers the ground for half the year. Informer had me hooked from the second I heard it. Before the video came out, muchmusic had Snow do the song live in a gondola going up some mountain. I'm pretty sure I taped that and wore out the vhs before I ever got my hands on the full album, which was also a tape. There were a bunch of songs on that tape that I loved: Lonely Monday Morning, Creative Child, Lady With the Red Dress but none got anywhere near as popular as Informer.

The next song was Raggadeath's - One Life. This song was actually very important in my musical evolution as it was one of the first times I was exposed to a heavier sound, which would get heavier and more brutal as I got older. I remember the video for the song featuring snowboarding and thats what initially got me interested in the song. I vividly remember asking my mom to buy the One Life cd for me, but as soon as she saw that the band name had "death" in it it was a no go. Could that be why I'm so into death metal now? This isn't the actual video, I couldn't find it, but check out the song anyways.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Classic Skate Video Parts: Lavar McBride - Trilogy

I'll always remember watching the video before going skateboarding for an entire day when I was on summer break in high school. I chose this part from Trilogy because when this video came out, lines were in, and Lavar had lines upon lines upon lines.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mastodon - Crack The Skye

Full album streaming now at their myspace.

Get the fuck into it!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Canadian Hip-Hop History: Part 1

When I was young, like really young, I really loved "rap" music. Long before I got deep into punk then back into hip-hop then back into punk then deep into metal, I remember owning quite a few "rap" tapes. I say "rap" because when I was a kid, thats what I called it. A few days ago I was listening to some old stuff I listened to as a kid and I realized that a lot of my first era of "rap" was mainly Canadian. So here's my attempt to summarize hip-hop in Canada, according to me at least.

The first song that comes to mind that I can vividly remember listening to and trying to remember all the words to was Maestro Fresh Wes' "Let Your Backbone Slide". It came out in '89 and is still the best selling Canadian hip-hop single of all time.

Thanks to hiphopcanada's youtube channel for the video.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sublime reunion.


Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Sublime, and in particular Bradley. So naturally the idea of a Sublime reunion seems very weird to me. I understand that there were 3 people involved in Sublime and it wasn't all Bradley. I also understand that fans would like to hear the songs live and even the possibility of a new album. But personally, I have to stand on the side that believes that this band should not be considered "Sublime". For the same reason that The Misfits should not have been called "The Misfits" once Danzig left. And for the same reason that there could never be another "Nirvana" without Cobain. I'll admit that the second incarnation of The Misfits is one of my favorite bands, and that this new Sublime singer is awesome and they sound great live. I just don't think that it's right. The other band members obviously have their owns thoughts and at the end of the day, they knew Bradley, something I could never say, and they would be the best judges of how he would interpret the new Sublime. I know if the ever tour and come near me, I'll be going, but it could never be the same.

Here's a link to a bunch of videos of their first live show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TgUhc627-I&feature=related

And a video of the new singer doing his rendition of T.I.'s "Whatever you like"

Monday, March 9, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

Set Your Goals - Mutiny


Donnybrook - Check Your Chest


Calico System - They Live

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Happy Birthday Cash!

Today is my best friend's birthday.

My dog Cash!

Sitting nice for a picture.

Diving in.

"Don't touch my fuckin' cake!"


2 years old, but still very very much a puppy. I love you buddy.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Mike Brown Crushes Leonard Garcia

Mike Fucking Brown. This guy is an animal. Check out the clip below of him dominating Leonard Garcia at WEC 39.

Monday Moron(s)

No morons in this one, just funny.



Idiot.







I will end it with this one.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Burnin Up!

You all know that if we had internet and webcams when we were 10, we'd be doing the exact same thing.
Kid is "Burnin' Up"
src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=52971000,t=1,mt=video,searchID=,primarycolor=,secondarycolor=" width="425" height="360" allowFullScreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"/>

Friday, February 27, 2009

Deathwish Package

Check out what was waiting for me in the mail today.

Ringworm/Terror 7"
Internal Affairs - Evil Egyptians 7"
Carpathian - Isolation CD
Cold World - Dedicated To Babies Who Came Feet First CD
Ringworm - The Promise CD

My turntable will get some use this weekend.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I remember a few years ago when my spam folder was filled with disgusting headlines. "Live Horse Fuckers" "Girl Blows Donkey" and so on.

In the past few years my spam folder has shifted gears. Yes, it still has a sexual tone to it, but now it is riddled with ads for "Extendz" and "Viagra".

I miss the days when the internet thought I was a virile sexual deviant, not a man with a small limp penis.

Opposites Attract



Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

Kind of a hardcore supergroup. Hazen Street.


Words could never describe how much I love this song.


Fucking STRIFE!


The songs this week got progressively harder, so here's some really hard stuff.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

Deathwish is probably the BEST hardcore label right now. Here's a few of their current/previous bands.

Internal Affairs


Ringworm


Carpathian


Cold World

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Holy Shit

Out of body experience

Have you ever done something you knew was stupid, but you just couldn't stop yourself from doing it?
Ok.
Now was it so stupid you actually had a small out-of-body experience? You brain, soul or whatever actually detached itself from your physical self and watched the carnage unfold.
This happened to me a few years ago. A girl I was seeing came to me and said "Adam, is it true that guys look at a girls mom to figure out what the girl will look like when she's older?"
At this point my brain said, "Shit." because it had noticed that my lips were already moving. Now my brain was sitting outside my body watching this scene like a Black guy at a scary movie. But instead of yelling at the character to stay out of the barn, it was telling me "Do not call her mom fat".
What my brain witnessed was a doomed fool say, "Well I haven't given up hope that you're adopted yet".
What happened next made Saw I-V look like a Smurfs marathon.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Alien Workshop Mind Field



Alien Workshop has been a fantastic skateboard company for a very long time, so when I heard about there new video Mind Field, obviously I got excited, also the fact that there was a few guys who rented a little hall to do the premiere was awesome. Alien Workshops other video, Photosynthesis was amazing, one of my favorites.
Last night Kent and I went to the premiere, and to say the least we were not disappointed, it was very good! The whole layout of the video, the editing...everything except the music, which was kinda wierd, maybe I am just saying that because its not the style of music I listen to at all, I dont know, but I dont watch skateboard videos for the music, I watch them obviously for the Skateboarding. The actual skateboarding in this video was awesome! The parts in my mind were just a little to shirt. Like Mr. Rob Dyrdek, I very much enjoy watching him skateboard, everything about his skateboarding I like, I just would have liked to see his part be like 2-3 time longer, but it wasnt, and i still liked it.

Go buy this video, watch and enjoy!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Joshua Hoffine

I noticed a few days ago that a friend of mine had posted a little piece about this artist. I never felt like reading it, simply because I am not a fan of reading, but I decided to this morning. This man is an awesome artist, the imagery he is using to capture childhood fears...is even creepy to me now. But he really does capture everything that we all were afraid of when we were younger!

Here is a little sample of what he does!





There are many more than just these two, to see the rest go to his web site www.joshuahoffine.com

Enjoy!

Source: Joshuahoffine.com

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Dog Fights


Everyone knows that Dog Fighting is primitive and anyone who watches or condones it is pure evil. It is cruel and unusual, people like Mike Vick should be fed to dogs for their crimes.


But you have to admit that it'd be a different story if they slapped a pair of shorts and some boxing gloves on the dog. That'd be rather entertaining wouldn't it?


No! It's not. The dog just gets pissed off, tries to chase its tail, trips over the gloves then gnaws on the gloves. It's not even that funny to watch.


Point being, no form of dog fighting is ever acceptable.

Crispin Hellion Glover

I'm a big fan of everything Crispin Glover has ever done. From Back to the Future to the Tom Green Show, I love it all. I've been interested in his independent films for a while now and I for one wish there was some way for more people to experience them. Since watching previews and trailers for his films I've also started to just really love the way he talks, there's something about his voice that just makes me want to listen.

Here's a video with some quick peeks at It Is Fine, Everything Is Fine.


Check out longer clips here at Crispin's website.
The artwork for the movie.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Monday, February 9, 2009

Monday Moron(s)



I dont even know what say about this one!


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Lets get ready to rumble.

You may not know this, but I used to be in a greaser gang. We were the Hungry Scorpians and we were the baddest mo'fos this side of the 'sippi. Or that's what we said. It made more sense back then than it does now.
Either way we got into an honest to goodness rumble with a rival gang, The Busters.
The energy in the air was electric. We had our plain white t's, our jeans with the cuffs, black Chuck Taylor shoes, and our typical greaser gang weapons.
I was sporting a tube sock filled with change.
Soon the fight was on. And midway through my first swing I saw my money sprayiing out of the hole in the big toe area of the sock. While absorbing hits with a fence board and watching my change spill down the street I realized I probably could have purchased a real weapon with the money I had dumped into a stinky sock. I mean, how much could a lead pipe cost? Shit, this guy was using a fence board to inflict his damage.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Classic Video Parts: Trilogy - Gino Ianucci

This time I gotta go with one of the best skateboarders ever from one of the best videos ever. It was hard to choose a part from Trilogy, and to be honest I'll probably do a few more from that video. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Lux Interior. 1946-2009

Lux Interior, the man who invented Psychobilly, died yesterday from a heart condition. Creator and frontman of The Cramps, Lux was often described as a twisted version of Elvis. Those who like The Cramps get it, those who don't, think it's garbage. I think they were genius pioneers in fusing genres and their contribution to punk/indie music was tremendous. See for yourself.

The Cramps - Save It


The Cramps - Surfin' Dead

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

Heres' a few bands I just recently got into.

Stick to your guns - Enough Is Enough


Have Heart - The Unbreakable


Gravemaker - Time Heals Nothing
Note: This video is hilarious.


And some metal.
All That Remains - Two Weeks

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Misanthropy Pure



One of the best songs...ever.

Monday, February 2, 2009

From Punk to Hardcore to Pop. I don't call that evolution.

Nobody will ever know what happened to AFI and why they feel like making pop music is cooler than hardcore. One thing is for sure, a lot of people's lives will never be the same because of this band.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Gangsta! Gangsta!







I don't know when this went down, but the egomaniacle media whore Kanye West slipped on a subtle pair of angel wings for a performance somewhere and a handful of black actors payed to be in the front row seemed to give a damn.


I don't listen to Kanye West or rap, so I am the last person to take rap advice from but I will say this. In a genre that, since breaking into mainstream culture, has always been haunted by a violent stereotype. Tupac, Biggie, and countless other rappers with goofy names have shot and been shot and died or killed as the case may be. They've glorified drugs and violence. 50cent has been shot and that makes him cool. T.I. was found with a stockpile of illegal firearms and so on. But all of these people are better influences than Kanye West.


Kanye took something sacred and sullied it. Angels wings! Angels wings, Kanye!


Those are for freakishly beautiful women to parade around in their underwear to promote unrealistic and unhealthy body images for all those fat uggos, plain janes and shy broads.






Two more things:
1. Kanye, how do you sleep at night you heartless bastard.
2. Start looking more like her ya lazy slags!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mastodon - Divinations

UPDATE: The full song is now on their MySpace. Check it out.



Mastodon has finally posted a proper preview from "Divinations", off of their upcoming record "Crack The Skye". Personally, I'm incredibly excited for this to come out. I'm pretty bummed that I didn't find out about the limited edition Shirt/CD bundle (shown above) until today and it has officially sold out. The record is set for release on March 24, I'll be at the CD Plus on my lunch break forsure.

Check out the clip of the song at their official site.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

This week only features one actual hardcore song, the other is my favorite song ever.

H2O - What Happened. Note: Michael Rapaport kicks ass.


The Black Dahlia Murder - Closed Casket Requiem.

Pink Eyes

Fucked Up is one of my favorite bands. It's crazy that they're getting so big that they are featured in the New York Times and here on Fox news.
I sort of doubt the interviewers actual enthusiasm for the band, but at least he's not retarded.
Check out the Mishka Obama "09 Bootleg Black Bart shirt he's wearing.

Sandwich Maker Fraud

I recently purchased a sandwich maker because I love sandwiches. My love for sandwiches is only rivaled by my laziness so I felt that this was a product designed especially for me.
Boy was I tricked. Not only do I still have to make the sandwich, I now have an extra step to go through before enjoying my sandwich. It lied to me, it took a simple process, said it would do it for me and then threw that back in my face with an added step for me to do!
The people behind the sandwich maker obviously did not buy into Mitch Hedbergs school of thought on naming appliances:

"What does it do?"
"It heats up a sandwich and toasts the bread."
"...anything else?"
"No. That's all."
"Yeah, see. We already have a toaster, and a toaster oven."
"What if we just lie and say it makes the sandwich for you!?!"
"Well, we'll sell a lot more units calling it the Sandwich Maker rather than telling the truth!"

That's probably how it all went down.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The country with kaleidoscope skies

Men like simple things. Loud noises, fire, bright flashes, destruction, and boobs. This is why things like tractor pulls, NASCAR, and fireworks are popular amongst men. Fireworks have got it all, save for the boobs.
This being the case, I have seen many a fireworks displays in my 26 years on planet earth. I've seen them in person and even "ooh'd" and "awwww'd" at ones on television. This year I was fortunate enough to be in China over Chinese New Year.
Now you can forgive them for being a little late to the game (January 1 ya goofy bastards) because they more than make up for their tardiness with over the top exuberance and lack of care for physical safety.
The night of the 25th was the big show, but the whole week leading up to it there were people blasting off fireworks in anticipation. It is now two days after and my living room still lights up in green, red and the occasional yellow tinge.
I say this without a hint of sarcasm. The fireworks display on Chinese New Year in China makes every 4th of July display look like an old painted whore - interesting to look at, but none too pretty.
Why leave the fun of pyrotechnics to trained professionals when there are little kids and 100 year old men who could be blasting off hundreds to thousands of dollars of fireworks in the streets?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Skate 2

If you haven't heard of this game yet, you are missing out. We thought Skate was good, Skate 2 is absolutely amazing! I'm serious, it is fun, and not as easy as those Tony Hawk Pro Skater games. It is just so realistic, I love it!




Even when you wipeout it is fun, because it shows kinda like an x-ray of your body and shows any broken bones...and if you fall bad enough, on the x-ray you will have a toe tag. Dead.

Go buy this game!

I'm not even sure what to call this...

This video below contains some explicit cartoon scenes, flashing lights and is FOR OVER 18's ONLY.

Directed by Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric) in association with Warp Records and Warp Films. Music by Flying Lotus. Co Directed/ Animation by Devin Flynn. Co Directed/ Edited by Eric Fensler. More info at dancefloordale.com

Danny McBride rules!

Danny McBride is a fucking genius. Everything he says is gold. He's been in a few big movies lately including Pineapple Express (Best movie of 2008), Drillbit Taylor and Tropic Thunder. Not to mention kicking serious ass in Hot Rod. A few of us got together this weekend and finally got around to watching The Foot Fist Way starring and written by Danny McBride. First off, fuck Trevor for watching this without me the morning after I bought it, fuck Adam for watching it in my basement without telling anyone and fuck the both of them for not making Kent and I watch it immediately after they'd seen it. It's comedic genius and hopefully we'll see a LOT more from Danny very soon.

Here's a ridiculous deleted scene from The Foot Fist Way care of Funny Or Die.


From Drillbit Taylor.


From Pineapple Express.

Friday, January 23, 2009