Thursday, January 31, 2008

Time on your hands?

Hey you know what's a good way to pass the time?


Yeah, it's fun and it feels good!
Over the years I've gotten pretty good at it. I know just the right buttons to push, sometimes I like to change up the speed, grip, and intensity, but I never leave myself unsatisfied.
I remember being real daring back in High School. I gave the "hello stranger" a try. If you don't know what that is, that's when you sit on your hand until it falls asleep and then you jerk off and it's supposed to feel like someone else is wanking you.
Well yeah, I remember one day I was walking around the house and popped some wood so I quickly sat on my hand. It takes a while to make your hand fall asleep and it doesn't feel good. So finally when my damn hand was numb I had lost my boner. Ever since it's been like the one that got away.
Two days ago I accomplished this elusive goal. I must say, I truly give myself the best hand jobs. Way better than anyone else, including me pretending to be someone else.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Meeting that special someone

Have you ever noticed that when you meet someone the traits that you liked initially tend to become the things that annoy you most about that person?
That's why I'm in search of a girl I can't stand.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Like Columbo, with a hangover.

I am a beer drinker. I enjoy the taste, and I like the way it makes me feel. But sometimes I can drink "too much".
Who says it's too much?
I don't. I just get to pretend I'm a detective plunked down in the middle of a mystery and I have to examine interesting questions and clues.
Like say, "Where am I? And how did I get here?"
"Why does my head hurt so much?"
"Who is she?"
"What's he doing here?"
It's usually pretty easy to piece together. But sometimes you find clues that raise more questions than answers.
"Why would someone write "Penis" on my face?"
"Hmmm... There are papers in my wallet. Why did I go to so many ATM's?"
"Why do I still have this condom in here?"
"Is she clean?"

Monday, January 21, 2008

UFC 80 Results

-Sam Stout def. Per Eklund via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-27) after 3 Rounds.
-Alessio Sakara def. James Lee via TKO (strikes) at 1:30 of Round 1.
-Paul Kelly def. Paul Taylor via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27) after 3 Rounds.
-Antoni Hardonk def. Colin Robinson via TKO (ref stoppage) at 0:17 of Round 1.
-Jorge Rivera def. Kendall Grove via KO (punch) at 1:20 of Round 1.
-Wilson Gouveia def. Jason Lambert via KO (punch) at 0:37 of Round 2.
-Marcus Davis def. Jess Liaudin via KO (punch) at 1:04 of Round 1.
-Fabricio Werdum def. Gabriel Gonzaga via TKO (ref stoppage) at 4:34 of Round 2.
-B.J. Penn def. Joe Stevenson via Submission (rear naked choke) at 4:02 of Round 2.


If you didn't see it, it was awesome! I think the PPV ended up showing all of the fights as well.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Getting Off Our Asses

There has been some talk lately of making some videos, mostly short sketches, although we have a few scripts for short films and a full one(sorta). Anyways, we need to get off our asses and get a few of our ideas onto digital video media already. I figured one way to motivate could be if there is any demad to see any of these video creations. Just respond to this post if you want to see some video from us in the future, even better, tell us if you don't!

Monday, January 14, 2008

The world is a surprising place

I have a friend Dan. Dan is a full blown wilderness freak. You can tell it just to look at him, he's got a burly beard and gives off a vibe where you know that guy can wander out into the woods with nothing but the clothes on his back and survive. He is a hunter, and this impressed me.
I, on the other hand, have never killed anything. I hit a kid riding his bike when I was driving home one night, but he didn't have any reflectors on his bike so I mean who is to blame there. I'm pretty sure he was OK. I didn't stick around cause really I think that could have been a bit of trouble for me there.
But back to Dan. I told him I was interested in hunting and he filled me in on it. He said it's more than just killing an animal, it's actually a real spiritual thing, a true learning experience. So I got him to take me out hunting one weekend. We trekked out into the deep woods in out camo gear with our guns, then Dan gave me a bottle of some juice and said, "Splash this stuff all over yourself", so I did. And it stunk. He told me it was deer piss, and it would attract other deer to us.
I did learn something that weekend, deers are sick pervs.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Thank Jesus!

Good Christ I'm glad the holidays are over. Last night marked the end of the final reminder of the "happiest" time of year. I finished of the last of the leftovers.
I don't know why everyone needs to eat a turkey for Christmas.
Have you ever seen a turkey? They're fucking sick. It looks like their heads are inside out. They are ugly and they don't even taste good, the meat's all dry and it makes you fall asleep. Of course something that ugly is going to taste that bad.
I'd like to maybe barbecue up a Koala Bear, those things are so damn cute they've got to taste like heaven and rainbows.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Happy new year world.

...that includes you too China.