Friday, February 22, 2008

Air Planes

I'm scared of them, straight up. I'm not gonna try to be a tough guy about this one, they scare the shit out of me...and yet I have never been on one. But tomorrow is the day I lose my air plane virginity, and no, I'm not overly excited about this either.
My work is sending me to Toronto for a week, for some training. Which I guess is cool cause its a free trip to Toronto, a place I have never been. Why can't it be in Las Vegas, or Los Angeles? somewhere warm you know?
But either way, chances are my plane tomorrow...or next Friday (on the flight home) of them is going to crash. Which sucks, because there is really no where nice for it to crash, its all goddamn frozen dirt from here to Toronto...couldn't have something nice and water, or a fuckin lake of Jello, wouldn't hate crashing into that! But crashing into frozen dirt, chances of survival are slim, especially for a little guy like me, but one thing I got going for me is, I guarantee there is going to be some super annoying people in this flight, that if we crash and they die, i won't think twice about eating them, you've seen the movie "Alive" right? start with ass, Ears Deep!

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Valentines day is my favorite day of the year. It is a day to celebrate love, and who hates that?
This year to make it even more special I made my own card. I feel it really conveys my feelings and my emotions that are usually hidden deep inside my chiseled frame.
Unfortunately, I have nobody "special" to share today with. So I randomly emailed out my card to any address I believed belonged to a female. I also printed off a few and dropped them in mailboxes around my neighborhood.
Lets all just feel the love today

My Thoughts on Valentines Day.

It's a crock of shit.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Here comes Peter Cottontail.

I'm sure many of you heard all of the Santa Claus scandals over the Christmas season.

In case you hadn't, or you'd like a reminder, here you go:

- A department store Santa was fired for saying "ho ho ho"; Santas' trademarked laugh, right? I guess not any longer. "Ho Ho Ho" has been deemed demeaning to women.

- Santa has been the target of fat jokes for years. And it's only getting worse. Parents are blaming him for setting a poor image for children.

- Christians are blaming the popularity of Santa for robbing children of the real meaning of Christmas and the story of Jesus Christ. (What's the big deal about some Mexican?).

All kidding aside. This is serious business. It may seem foolish now, and like good fuel for silly jokes. But these are issues that affect our youth and our world.

I mean, just look at the Easter Bunny! It wasn't that long ago that his slogan was, "Fuck N*ggers and F*gs". And people didn't bat an eye! But that's because olden day people were racist and unaccepting (just talk to your grandparents for proof). The world changed and so did Easter, now it's a fun holiday with eggs and chocolate and junk, and best of all, the Easter Bunny is mute. If that racist little fucker can't say anything, he can't be offensive.

Food for thought folks. Here's to a skinny and respectful Santa Claus in '08.

Monday, February 4, 2008

NY Giants: Superbowl XLII Champs!

In case you didnt catch it over the weekend, the New York Giants upset the New England Patriots' perfect season by beating them in Superbowl XLII. It was a great game, low scoring but back and forth action constantly. I was glad to see the Giants win for two reasons, 1) Because in this first year of my fantasy football career I ended up with a bunch of Giants players and they did pretty well for me. And 2) I fucking hate Bill Belichick. He dresses like a fucking bum off the street and has no sense of sportsmanship whatsoever. The fucker walked off the field with 1 play left in the game without so much as a handshake to Tom Coughlin (Giants coach).

There were a few good plays throughout the game, but this is one takes the cake. Eli scrambling out of a sack to a spectacular catch by David Tyree.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Protest The Hero - Fortress

When I first heard Protest the Hero it was under bad circumstances. I had been waiting through 4 bands already and was getting quite anxious for Death by Stereo to take the stage. I was pissed off to find that another nobody band would be playing before they would go on. Two words, blown away. I knew as soon as I heard this band I'd like them. 4 days later their debut album, Kezia, came out and completely changed my interpretation of heavy music. 3 years later and a lot of wondering "can they ever possibly do anything better than Kezia?" they've come out with an absolutely stunning sophomore album.

Fortress is an answer to that question and it fucks that question up its ass. From the first second to the last second its musical bliss. Fans of the band would have probably already heard "Bloodmeat" on myspace and even MuchMusic, and as an opening song it sets the tone for the album quite well. "The Dissentience" lets you know right away that they aren't afraid of odd time signatures and break neck guitar riffs. I don't want to get into more details because I want anyone who reads this to go buy the cd, come on, it's $12 at HMV.

This album has left me again wondering "can they ever possibly do anything better than Fortress?". The answer has to be yes. Rody's vocal work has evolved leaps and bounds along time with the entire band's instrumental skill level. At this rate they'll become one of the greatest bands of all time, you can quote me on that.


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