Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mastodon - Divinations

UPDATE: The full song is now on their MySpace. Check it out.

Mastodon has finally posted a proper preview from "Divinations", off of their upcoming record "Crack The Skye". Personally, I'm incredibly excited for this to come out. I'm pretty bummed that I didn't find out about the limited edition Shirt/CD bundle (shown above) until today and it has officially sold out. The record is set for release on March 24, I'll be at the CD Plus on my lunch break forsure.

Check out the clip of the song at their official site.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Half-Week Hardcore

This week only features one actual hardcore song, the other is my favorite song ever.

H2O - What Happened. Note: Michael Rapaport kicks ass.

The Black Dahlia Murder - Closed Casket Requiem.

Pink Eyes

Fucked Up is one of my favorite bands. It's crazy that they're getting so big that they are featured in the New York Times and here on Fox news.
I sort of doubt the interviewers actual enthusiasm for the band, but at least he's not retarded.
Check out the Mishka Obama "09 Bootleg Black Bart shirt he's wearing.

Sandwich Maker Fraud

I recently purchased a sandwich maker because I love sandwiches. My love for sandwiches is only rivaled by my laziness so I felt that this was a product designed especially for me.
Boy was I tricked. Not only do I still have to make the sandwich, I now have an extra step to go through before enjoying my sandwich. It lied to me, it took a simple process, said it would do it for me and then threw that back in my face with an added step for me to do!
The people behind the sandwich maker obviously did not buy into Mitch Hedbergs school of thought on naming appliances:

"What does it do?"
"It heats up a sandwich and toasts the bread."
"...anything else?"
"No. That's all."
"Yeah, see. We already have a toaster, and a toaster oven."
"What if we just lie and say it makes the sandwich for you!?!"
"Well, we'll sell a lot more units calling it the Sandwich Maker rather than telling the truth!"

That's probably how it all went down.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The country with kaleidoscope skies

Men like simple things. Loud noises, fire, bright flashes, destruction, and boobs. This is why things like tractor pulls, NASCAR, and fireworks are popular amongst men. Fireworks have got it all, save for the boobs.
This being the case, I have seen many a fireworks displays in my 26 years on planet earth. I've seen them in person and even "ooh'd" and "awwww'd" at ones on television. This year I was fortunate enough to be in China over Chinese New Year.
Now you can forgive them for being a little late to the game (January 1 ya goofy bastards) because they more than make up for their tardiness with over the top exuberance and lack of care for physical safety.
The night of the 25th was the big show, but the whole week leading up to it there were people blasting off fireworks in anticipation. It is now two days after and my living room still lights up in green, red and the occasional yellow tinge.
I say this without a hint of sarcasm. The fireworks display on Chinese New Year in China makes every 4th of July display look like an old painted whore - interesting to look at, but none too pretty.
Why leave the fun of pyrotechnics to trained professionals when there are little kids and 100 year old men who could be blasting off hundreds to thousands of dollars of fireworks in the streets?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Skate 2

If you haven't heard of this game yet, you are missing out. We thought Skate was good, Skate 2 is absolutely amazing! I'm serious, it is fun, and not as easy as those Tony Hawk Pro Skater games. It is just so realistic, I love it!

Even when you wipeout it is fun, because it shows kinda like an x-ray of your body and shows any broken bones...and if you fall bad enough, on the x-ray you will have a toe tag. Dead.

Go buy this game!

I'm not even sure what to call this...

This video below contains some explicit cartoon scenes, flashing lights and is FOR OVER 18's ONLY.

Directed by Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric) in association with Warp Records and Warp Films. Music by Flying Lotus. Co Directed/ Animation by Devin Flynn. Co Directed/ Edited by Eric Fensler. More info at

Danny McBride rules!

Danny McBride is a fucking genius. Everything he says is gold. He's been in a few big movies lately including Pineapple Express (Best movie of 2008), Drillbit Taylor and Tropic Thunder. Not to mention kicking serious ass in Hot Rod. A few of us got together this weekend and finally got around to watching The Foot Fist Way starring and written by Danny McBride. First off, fuck Trevor for watching this without me the morning after I bought it, fuck Adam for watching it in my basement without telling anyone and fuck the both of them for not making Kent and I watch it immediately after they'd seen it. It's comedic genius and hopefully we'll see a LOT more from Danny very soon.

Here's a ridiculous deleted scene from The Foot Fist Way care of Funny Or Die.

From Drillbit Taylor.

From Pineapple Express.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

AtTeNtIoN lAdIeS

Stop capitalizing every second letter every time you write something on the internet. It's not cute. I don't want to pick you up, hold you tight, and keep you safe. I really just want to break your face. It's frustrating. I feel like an asshole for having done it in the title.

Also, it's not easy. Why would you put that much effort into something like that. You're going out of your way to look stupid.

And guys, if you are doing this my friend Gay James will call you a "mincing faggot". His words not mine.

Half-Week Hardcore

Hardcore videos, every wednesday.

FC Five - My Strife
I apologize for the quality on this one, the song just kicks so much ass I had to post it.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Getting older sucks!

When I was younger gas and farts were 100% funny. As I get older that is less and less the case. I don't know what to attribute it to outside of advancing age, but now farts/gas is funny like 90% of the time, uncalled for about 2% of the time and painful a good 8%.... Getting older sucks.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday Moron(s)

Hopefully one day the world will be moron free (i doubt it though) until then, Enjoy!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Magical Trevor

Saturday, January 17, 2009

First thoughts on China

I've been in China for a week now. I've done a few things, but mainly I've been trying to wrap my head around this strange place. On the surface it looks like they took all the most flamboyant aspects of North American culture from the late 70's through to the mid 90's, put them in a blender and served it up with a hint of Asian flair.
In the span of two blocks you can see a host of things that will make your head spin, women washing clothes in a stream in the winter, some business man blasting bubblegum pop music from his cell phone safely secured on a belt clip, maniacs honking their way down the wrong side of the street, chickens, streetdogs, and randoms pointing at the wide eyed white guy.
I had the pleasure of going for a physical here in Yantai. This is not a comfortable experience when done at home in the privacy of your family doctors office. In China, you get to go to a somewhat rundown building downtown and parade from room to room having each procedure done, most of which you will have an audience for. Nothing like having someone speak to you in a foreign language while rubbing ultrasound goop on your chest and stomach while Chinese farmers crowd around and whisper and point.
It was an unfamiliar process, not entirely uncomfortable though. Well, with the exception of the blood work. My arm looks like someone took a golf club to the inside of my elbow. Next time I'm bringing a heroin addict to stick me. To top off the procedure they send you away with a tackle box of random pills of all sizes, shapes and colours.
The advice I've been given and I'll pass on to you is, don't get sick in China.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Single Second

Single Second's first shirt collection went for sale last night on their online store. They've also got an updated website for 2009.

Here's a preview of the collection.

A Fire Inside on a Friday

AFI to make a Friday better

Great start to a Friday!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Mad World

Julia at Triumvir had this posted on her blog and I just had to post it over here. I'm not even going to explain what this game is about, just watch the trailer and have some money ready on March 10.

Oh yeah, there's a badass song that you might have heard by the same name, if you haven't, here it is.


I really don't care how goofy ass looking people think this man is...he can SING!

This one is just awesome, I've loved this song, literally since I was like 10.

Some guys at work got me liking this one.

Again this one is just awaesome.

Listen to them!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Fuuuuuuuck You!

#1. Watch Tremors.
#2. Watch Tremors again.
#3. Watch this.

Monday Moron(s)

Friday, January 9, 2009

It Was The Wrong House

If you've ever seen the original Last House on the Left you'll know the potential this movie has. I'm usually 50/50 on classic horror movie remakes. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, bad, Dawn of the Dead, good, Wicker Man, bad, The Hills Have Eyes, good etc. So this could really go either way. It will never ever have the weird eerie vibe of the 70's version. It just had a feeling to it that is hard to describe, I would recommend watching it. What I can hope for from this is more intensity and actually more gore. Because it can never capture what the original did, I really just hope they do what it didn't. I'm not really sure what it is that makes me like or dislike a horror remake, maybe this one will have "it".

And the original.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Of The Dead

Wouldn't it be awesome if George Romero was actually a zombie himself and instead of eating brains he had to keep making zombie movies to ease the pain? I think that would be kick ass, then again, I'm the type of person that refuses to be cremated and is going to design a "Zombie Door" (patent pending) for my coffin, just in case it ever happens.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Burger Kings Angry Whopper

I just ate 2 (TWO) of these monstrous beasts, now I don't feel well...and my heart hurts

White Flag

How do blind folks know when it's safe to stop wiping their bums?

Monday, January 5, 2009

How da fuck do we pose to keep peace?

Gi dis bitch a grammy!

12 spoons of sugar that's bad, 200 calories, bad, guarana , tisk tisk.

I'm sure everyone's seen the 5 hour energy commercial. The problem is that if you don't need to run a god damn marathon, all 5 hour energy is going to do for you is make you nervous and sick. But... if you want a really tasty drink that'll give you a quick boost of energy then you're in luck, energy drinks aren't bad for you most of the ingredients are herbal and in comparison to coffee, which has about 120 mg of caffeine per cup and a person usually has 2-4 making that on average 240 mg.  The average energy drink has about 160 mg of caffeine. I would never say that coffee is bad for you, but if you'd like something that doesn't taste like steamed asshole, try an energy drink.

To help you find out which one is best for you, here's an online study of the most popular energy drinks graded on both taste and buzz. You'll notice that Monster (our personal favorite) scored the best average of taste and buzz combination.

Monday Moron(s)

Here we go

Not really a moron...just dumb and pointless


Mum and Dad must be so proud of their baby girl.
(from CollegeHumor)