Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Every day is an adventure.

Summer is near, that's right, the beer drinking season is nearly upon us. So with that in mind I paid a visit to my physician. And folks, he gave me some earth shattering news. Something that forced me to reevaluate my life.
Beer alone cannot sustain a person. Apparently there are not enough nutrients and crap in there to keep a person alive. He even claimed that if I attempted to consume beer and only beer through the summer months I'd surely die. And when I tried to argue the value of the protein in a bottle of beer he told me to stop being an idiot and read a book.
This prompted me to go out and buy a bottle of those multi-vitamins. It has only been a week, but the results have been far better than I could have ever imagined! Now when I take a leak it looks like I'm shooting a neon laser beam out my wang!
I love taking a piss now. It's like an adventure every time. It's like I'm in Star Wars every time I go to the bathroom now.
I pretend I'm a bad ass Jedi and I go into battle with my yellow lightsaber. I like to imagine the toilet as Darth Vader and I have a great time making up battle scenes.

...my bathroom is disgusting.

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