Gimme Money!

Have you ever applied for a loan, or a line of credit?
Maybe you wanted a car, or needed to pay for school. Not enough cash, so it's time to head to the bank and let them tell you what you're worth.
I've done this a number of times in my life. One thing remains constant every time I go down for a consultation.

I look spiffy! Fuck do I get dolled up! I iron my shirt, spray on the good cologne, I even get myself a store bought haircut (Why pay someone $20 to do well what I could do terribly for free?).

I'm not sure why I figure this ritual helps. I know they can see my bank balance and know my credit rating. Frankly, I'd be more comfortable showing my manhood to a room full of single women after icing down my junk for an afternoon than have them see my bank statements.

I guess in my head I've convinced myself that these bankers see the wrinkle proof Denver-Hayes cotton slacks and a smart, trustworthy, financially savvy individual....

Banker, "So Adam, it looks like you are applying for an extension on your line of credit here."

Me, "Yeah, you see. Derek has an Xbox 360 and there is this new James Bond game out. Now he could play online against me if I had the system and the game you see. Long story short, I'm wearing a suit and my hair looks respectable, what are you afraid of?"