Danger is my middle name

Any one who knows me will tell you that I crave excitement and I thrive on danger. They all know I aspire to a world of intrigue and/or espionage; They can tell because everything I own has no less that 3 secret pockets in or on it.
Lately, I've been feeling playful. Up for a challenge and not a small challenge. I want something to test my wits, my guts, my metal.
I think I would like to commit a robbery. And no, I don't mean knock over a convenience store at axe-point. I mean an intricate and classy job. Think jewel heist, or just rent the newer version of Oceans Eleven. I think I have enough secret pockets in my closet to make me Danny Ocean.
I would love to assemble a crack team, break into a secure building without being detected and make off with the loot like a ghost in the night.
I think that could near be the greatest thrill in my life.
I along with my team would steal all of the books in a large library. Save for the dictionary, which would be open to the page that contains the word "ironic".

I'm a Secret Agent, man.

I am a man. A man through and through. A being forged in the fires of evolution. And thus, I do not enjoy shopping. I don't understand why the fairer sex likes this so. How can they go to a mall *shudder* and try on countless pairs of jeans/shirts/jackets and what have you and then not buy anything from that store?
A guy, by definition, does not try on clothes.
He may, on occasion, hold the item up to his body and size it up, eye-ball it if you will. Colours and cuts do not really come into play when a guy is making a purchase decision.
This is what we, as guys, want everyone to believe.
The truth of the matter is there is one aspect of shopping that we do enjoy.
Men love hidden/secret pockets! The more pockets something has, the cooler it is. That item becomes exponentially cooler if these pockets are hidden - out of sight from the general public.
The sad truth is, these secret pockets are as close as many of us will come to being James Bond. Why do you think we keep our wallets in breast pockets whenever possible? It's not comfort, fuck comfort - It looks way cooler to pull something out of a breast pocket.