Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tweeta-lee-diddly-dee tweet tweet.

So you're having a good day. The sun is shining, and things just seem to be going your way. Hell, you're walking on sunshine. So what do you do?
You start whistling, because you feel so damn good you think the world should know just how happy you are.
And it is a scientific fact that it's impossible to whistle when you're feeling blue.
So you're strolling around whistling a tune, showing your happiness off to the world. Now unless you are whistling the tune to Walk like an Egyptian, or The Andy Griffith Show you are a grade 'A' asshole.
These songs engage the general public. They transform this annoying high pitched noise into an invitation into your blessed world of bliss. People know the tunes once they hear them, and they are infectious.
But, if you're thinking you're some sort of Whistling-Mozart and you're making up your own respiratory symphony then you're effectively pissing off anyone and everyone within ear shot. We, as humans, quickly learn to hate you. You are definitely far to happy, and you're a greedy S.O.B.
Other Acceptable Tunes:
- Don't Worry Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin)
- Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Monty Python)
- Joyride (Roxette)

Just remember, your whistling is less of a cunty move the more popular and catchy the tune.

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