Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Why is that every time a person is forced to wait in a line -- at the grocery store, liquor store, the 7-11, a public washroom, an amusement park ride, or whatever -- the person behind you is within your comfort zone at all times? For those of you who are oblivious to this concept, a comfort zone is the diameter around a person (usual 4 feet to less than a foot) which should only be breached for the purpose of sexual intercourse.

When I'm in line at a store buying some cigarettes, I'm anxious to get my cigarettes -- the last thing I wanted was to start an intimate relationship with the burly bitch behind me. Let's put it this way -- when I can feel your breath or smell your genitals, you're TOO FUCKING CLOSE. Step the fuck back! I don't know you well enough to tolerate you rubbing up against my ass... in time, maybe, but not right now. Most people seem to be oblivious to the message that is sent by entering someones comfort zone -- this is an issue that needs to be addressed by everyone who has been (and constantly finds themselves in) this same situation. Next time someone is riding your ass in a lineup, ask them to give you a reach-around -- they'll either turn red with embarrassment and step out of your comfort zone, or they might actually start giving you a reach-around. Either way, problem solved.

Or maybe I just smell nice.

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