Friday, November 23, 2007

Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo, fuck them all!

A new guy started at work today. Jim. His name on his application is 'Jim'. He's Jim.
But at break we're all talking to new guy Jim and someone asks, "So what do you like to be called? Jimmy, or just Jim?".
And everyone leans in like the guy is going to reveal the mysteries of life.
Anyhow, Jim says, "Well it doesn't really matter to me much. I'll answer to either of them. But my friends call me Jimbo. You could call me that too if you'd like."
"OOOOhhhhh JIMBO!" A collective cry from the breakroom. These jerks acted like Jim gave us all trained penguins that we could have work as our personal butlers. Or like a hover board from Back to the Future II.
The rest of the day I had to listen to everyone walking by saying, "Hey Jimbo!" , "what's up Jimbo", "Jimbo, want a brewski after work?".
Why didn't they ask me what I'd like to be called when I started here?
Sure my name is Adam, but that doesn't mean I like it.
I didn't choose it. Maybe I want to be called Jesus, Zeus*, or even Dave. Nope. No options for Adam. And that's total bullshit.
Why do the Jims', Tims', Toms', Bobs' and Dicks' of the world get these name luxuries?

*I would have chosen Zeus if they gave me the chance.

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